And Then What

One For The Road

On Monday, Rapper Lil' Kim will begin serving her year-long prison stint for lying under oath during a case involving gunfire exchanged between her associates and that of rival hip-hopista Foxy Brown. How, we wonder, will Kim spend her last days as a free woman?

- Playing with her coochie, one last time, when she's up in the tub.

- Rolling around in a pile of the Notorious B.I.G.'s fur coats.

- Attending fittings for her Marc Jacobs prison jumpsuit.

- Enjoying a final breast-jiggle from Diana Ross.

- Looking up the word "perjury" in order to understand what the hell happened.

- Upping her body's silicon content, so that she might keep herself amused by bouncing off the prison walls.

- Deciding on a single hair color to sport for the next year.

- Shoving as many Vuitton items as possible into her anal cavity.

- Familiarizing herself with The Autobiography of Alice B. Toklas.

- Visiting Judith Miller.

(list composed courtsey of Gawker)

I'd rather be dead and rich than broke and livin' / Without rap, I probably woulda been sellin' dope in prison / With some Vera Wang khakis and Nolteychucks / Suckin' the warden's dick in the back of the bus

- Kim on La Bella Mafia's "This Is Who I Am"

Well said Kimmy, well said.